Swollen Head - Smoking Wabeno

I’ve been smokeless for two days.

I can’t scratch the itch between the hemisphere’s of my brain. I accidentally murdered three of my coworkers with my ergonomic keyboard when my Ipod took too long to sync. I also downloaded an app that I thought might be a nice cathartic zombie shooter, but turned out to be a worldwide epidemic simulator. Here’s the kick. You create and control the virus and it’s mutations against the entire scientific community of the world trying to find a cure.

It’s called Plague Inc. I am deeply ashamed with how much I am enjoying this.

I tell myself it’s character research for my upcoming character in the new Prenzie Player’s show, Bear Girl. I play a Wabeno of the Fire-Keeper tribe who thrives on death, rape and whiskey named Swollen Hand. Come see us at the QC Theatre Workshop on June 14, 15, 16 and 21, 22, 23. All shows at 8PM.

I lie to myself, of course.

I am become death, destroyer of worlds…or something.

I always used to joke that Smoking was just a slow lazy suicide, affording plenty of time to change one’s mind. Maybe quitting has to involve reversing the polarity of all that self destructive energy by focusing it outwards. Your thoughts?

I think tonight is going to involve a nice long soak in the tub, at least one self-medicating adult beverage and hardcore line study.

After all, all of the best villains are well-spoken, don’t you agree?

Peace and good hunting.

Reasonable Guy 2: Don't Worry

                I’ve just had one of my recurrent moments of clarity.

                The world would be just fine if there was absolutely no one doing my job. Sometimes that’s a hard pill to take, but it also lets some of the pressure off, or, rather, it should.

                You see, everybody likes to think their job is important.

                Except for me, perhaps.

                The only way in which I view my job as important is that it allows me to support my family, my hobbies and my pedestrian vices. Not for nothing, but that oughtta be good enough, don’t you think?

                Today is a day where I seem to be surrounded by people who disagree. I have been bombarded by emails with words like “Urgent”, “Very Important” and, in one memorable case, “Hot! Hot! Hot!”

                Where, I ask you, do they grow these people?

                Let me be clear, I take pride in doing a good job and I believe that I do, but the words “Procurement Analyst” will not appear on the spiritual resume that I present at the sorting time in the great beyond. “Loving husband”, “Conscientious Father”, “Amateur Writer” and “Tolerable Actor” will be the sort of accomplishments I intend to laud. Success or failure of these endeavors will have to be audited at the end of the road.

Success at my job means taking home a paycheck.

So what’s the point of all this? I couldn’t say with any certainty at this point.

If I were to use myself as an example (only because I have all the background data), I would say this, “Relax. Don’t make your job into a lifestyle unless you’re saving lives. That way lies tears and eventual madness, or, at the very least, brutal disappointment.”

Make happy your goal. Then you are always working on the right thing.